Academic Life
(tune: Comedy Tonight)

Something pedantic, something semantic,
Something for everyone, the academic life!
Something rhetoric, something historic,
Something for everyone, the academic life!

Nothing with fame, nothing that's fun;
Bring on the textbooks, forget the sun.
School applications, matriculations,
Typewriters, lanterns, owls, are rife!
Nothing else is like it, academic life!

Eating at Seller's, those food defilers,
Nothing for anyone, that academic life!
Cramming for finals, more self-denial,
Something for everyone, the academic life!

Something that grinds, something that's Greek,
Professor, give the grades that I seek.
Always, it's costing, simply exhausting,
Nothing that's practical we know!

Open up the curtains,
On with the show!