When the still moon bleeds slowly
When the stars blink and fall away
When the last desperate howl of the wolf
 screams across the desert
Remember me for who i was
Not who i've become.

Shrieking chaos in the street below
This world of concrete and steel
  has me by the throat
Morning after mourning
Donning for the day a suit of armour
Sewing up the wounds to begin again
  the battle.

Grown men crying, the children are lying
Whores are crying out in the night
For something that isnt there.

Lost souls wandering the superhighway
Looking for Kerouac's buried treasure
Finding only rubble
And discarded bootlaces.

The sun wakes me up by
Kicking me in the face
A sheep.
Mute spectator.
Caterer.
Back to the trenches
Silent agony -the loss
Loss of hope, loss of me
The days are too long.

Gone are frequent moments of
Childhood epiphany
Numb.
Conditioned as a mutt locked
In Pavlov's kennels.

Jump.
How high?
Off the fuckin edge, Baby.
Off the fuckin edge.

Sheets of red rain in 
Hopeless night
Pale ghost of a girl
I used to know.

I am not me
Am what they made me
Realize, who I was
Was stolen & replaced
With what I've become.

The ocean churns up bodies
  in the night
Babies
Broken hearts
Dreams deferred
The night air is thick 
With human suffering.

Jet fighters streak across
The midnight sky sent on
The hunt by fat men in suits
Children swimming in the damp
Evening momentarily are deaf
Ma & Pa snug in their beds
While the city rapes their kin.

Two lay entwined in a pool of sweat
Exhausted, bodies limp
Clinging to each other in their
Womb while on the street below
Two lay entwined in a pool of 
  sticky blood
Bodies limp and broken
Clinging to a slant of light.

I look but dont see
We look & pretend to see
Reality is clouded by perception
I trudge through this pantomime
Just as blind as at birth.

I listen but dont hear
We wait & listen & crane
Our necks, grope at nothingness.

Robots.
Pawns in a game where
Reality has become a parody of itself.

The abc xyz generations
Then those that fall 
Somewhere in between
I have been born into this
And will surely die in it
Having been misdirected
And uninspired
Unmotivated to inspire
Tired of aspiring to nothingness.

Fire in the sky tonight
The city is alive and well
Fat cop on the corner
  blows his whistle
Black-eyed whores strut in
  the high street
Bloated corporate cowboys with
Their painted smiles & plastic eyes
Slap backs and guzzle bourbon
It has them -all of them
This city has us by the hair,
A rusty knife at our throats.

    Beautiful

Oh, she was the most
  beautiful girl
Her smile set the room alight
Her laugh would warm your heart
Not a care
The wind at her heels
The world at her feet
Lips made for kissing
To hold her
Only to see her once more

I could bring back
  whats left of her
She's not her former self
A shell
No more laughing
Never a kiss
To hold her
Never
Even once
Scarcely a heartbeat
>From the most
  beautiful girl

I watched the sun come up again
Again it makes me weary
I dont associate beauty with it
  anymore
Just the blinding light it brings
Exposing me, exposing them
Making me look at myself
Making me hate them
Hate all that i see
I wonder if perhaps one day
i will open my eyes to me, to them
Not be pryed open
And left cowering in a heap